It would appear that Manchester City have committed the ultimate sin against a cast member of 'The Lord of the Rings'. Yes, we have tried to sign one of Gollum's players. Before you gasp too much in horror, we also had the audacity to increase our offer after Saint David of Toxteth deemed our initial bid as "disgusting".
I fully appreciate that the abhorrent behaviour of our manager Mark Hughes ranks alongside that of Pol Pot, and, as such, accept that he should be tried in front of the UN for crimes against the people's game. But in the meantime, City look to capitalise on a fantastic opening-day victory over Blackburn and an unforgettable win in the Camp Nou against the reigning European Champions as they take on Premier League new boys Wolves in front of a sell-out crowd at Eastlands.
Ramadan has arrived, so alcohol won't be on sale during the day for the next few weeks. But fear not, mcfcUAE will once again be at the Crown and Lion in Al Barsha's Byblos Hotel for this one. Kick-off is at 6.00pm UAE time and the beer should be flowing again by 7.30.
The day's other games include Arsenal Vs Portsmouth and Wigan Vs Rags. See you there.